If Chivarly is DEAD, Then you are a BITCH
I have reached my limit. The other day an UGLY ASHY NEGRO acted like I should kiss his butt, as he tried to talk to me. I stood there entertaining his conversation, in 4 inch heels while he sat all cozy at the bar. He was nestled in and clearly had no intention of moving. After 10 minutes and a drink offer, this was a blatant sign of disrespect. I kept it funky and asked why he didn’t give up his seat and he says “Chivalry is DEAD.”
WHAT!!
I was Appalled!
I am open to all opinions, but embracing “Chivalry is DEAD” ???? NOPE! I CAN’T DO IT.
Yes, gender lines have blurred. Women now have the opportunity to embrace things usually attributed to males, and males are embracing things usually attributed to women. We are now way beyond becoming “equals”, we are now moving towards being the “same”.
Nonetheless, this Chivalry is DEAD movement needs to stop. PERIOD. Integrity, respect for women, protection, loyalty, and manners are all things Mandatory in Manhood. Taking this stance behind Chivalry is DEAD is forgetting all about what value a man possesses. Men, have you all forgotten the power of your SEX? (SEX as in gender, not pipe. Some of yall deserve malpractice suits.) Men are suppose to be head of households, guiders, protectors. It can’t work if we both doing the same shyt.
Men are built totally different than women for a reason. Men are made to be stronger. Don’t yall think it is amazing how I can OUT weigh a MAN by 20-30 lbs, be a few inches taller; YET with one hand, a MAN can grab me and exert enough pressure to defeat me!
Men, if you won’t perform basic chilvarlous acts, how can any woman trust you to lead? This is why so many women are controlling. Some MEN are failing at basic MEN things. The more you remain chivalrous, the more you will be viewed and respected as a MAN and you will attract a WOMAN who understands PARTNERSHIP.
So you MEN, think nice and hard about the next time you see a woman struggle with her grocery’s OR not get up and offer her your seat OR not open the door. If Chivalry is DEAD, you are saying “Hey Women, I can do absolutely NOTHING for you.” You are defeating your own purpose. You are signaling it is OK to be on our level. And if you dont believe in reviving Chivarly, well guess what?? Welcome to my world, cus you are a BITCH just like me.
*stands slowly and begins to clap* Sistah you ain’t neva lied! I think men are doin a disservice to themselves by abandoning chivalrous actions. I don’t for one minute believe chivalry is dead. I do think its rolling down the street sitting in a wheelchair with its arm in a sling. Its unfortunate how little men do chivalrous acts these days. And it shouldn’t just be to get in shorties pants either. Be a gentlemen just for the hell of it! SMH I look out on 1st dates to see if dude will open doors, pull out chairs, hold the small of the back and even walk on the outside of the street. And precisely for the reason mentioned: I’m not following a man that can’t lead. Brothers please get it together!
most epic thing ever: If Chivalry is DEAD, you are saying “Hey Women, I can do absolutely NOTHING for you.” You are defeating your own purpose. You are signaling it is OK to be on our level. And if you dont believe in reviving Chivarly, well guess what?? Welcome to my world, cus you are a BITCH just like me.
so much cosign.
…mmm no rebuttals??!
I’m just giving a round of applause off the flow of this post and the ending. Hoorah!!! Great read.
glad things on blogs don’t matter. especially what bitter women write. so he was supposed to give up his seat? LOL. I think that’s why you were left standing up and apparently mad.
this is one of the most idiotic things I read all day, come to think of it…..I regret even reading this crap. stick to your day job.
I came across this randomly, and I dont completely agree.
The thing about “Chivalry” that I disagree with, is this sense that all women feel entitled to it from ALL men. I’m not really standing up for the guy your talking about, if he was expressing interest in you the act of giving up his seat would have been very good on his part. However, I also respect that fact that he has obviously does not know who you are, why should he be required to extend such an act, it could be he isn’t comfortable yet. I don’t think it makes you less of a man if you pick and choose who you want to be chivalrous too.
My second point, once this guy said ” Chivalry is Dead” I think its fair to say he isn’t a Man. Woman are very good at making this distinction between Girls and Women. This distinction also applies to Boys and Men. I ask you don’t lump Men into this category because a real Man would not have used such an obvious excuse for his lack of , well dignity and manners.
All and all , I enjoyed reading your article, your rant is valid but a bit one sided in my opinion
Hi Adam! One sided! Completely! This has been my experience. I meet plenty of men who are the opposite.
In fact his guy was a one off for me, YET I have seen how this movement is becoming more prevalent.
In the blog, I say something to women and perhaps I will expound on a later date.(Women are embracing men things).
In order for a Man to be a Man, a Woman must be a woman. She is not leader, he is not leader..but partners. Women have to be just as accountable.
I didn’t feel entitled at the bar. I engaged in good conversation with him. It was obviously going to continue had he not been an ASS. I didn’t walk in and expect all men sitting to get up, although some men will do that, But I did feel away about his manhood given his opinion. Hope you chuckled lol!
Girl! I saw your tweet and had to see what the uproar was about. There is nothing worst than a man who has no home training. Clearly, his parents (or in most cases his Mother) did not teach him how to be a real man. Chivalry is not the only issue, there’s just a lack of common courtesy these days. This guy is probably the same one who wouldn’t even hold open a door for an elderly woman holding a bag of groceries. Men like this disgust me and I don’t have time for their foolishness.
On another note, judging by Reality Check’s response, he’s clearly the same type of man you’re writing about which is why he was offended. The only women men like him will ever get is a hoodrat who doesn’t know how a lady should be treated.
now usually it makes my skin crawl when i see a woman tell a man how to be a man but not in this case. this is very well written and i really don’t have anything else of value to add. i do want to add that i know a lot of men (some in the blog world) who need to read this and take note. kudos.
I think that guy have a point. I like to show chivalry to females because i was raised to treat females with respect but most of the times they dont like it. I believe its because they’re not used to it or they just prefer thugs over well manner guys. for example there was this female i was hanging out with and i opened the door for her once and she didn’t want to go through the door. now that was real surprising, because i wasn’t going to go through unless she did. and one time in college i was helping a female carry and load her bags onto a bus. the next day she gave me a kiss on the cheek and said “nobody ever did that for me.” this was a hug red flag because it showed me the type of guys this chick goes after.
most females say they want a guy that treats them with respect but when they do, they run away or they say he got no swagg(cant believe ppl still use this word). females are more attracted to guys they see in music videos and etc than what they really want (a good respectful man). this is why most of the time i take women’s preferences in males as a grain of salt. i know friends who used to be respectful to women and they didnt go no where until they started doing the opposite. they saw huge results and felt it was more effective not to be chivalrous.
i’m not a ladies man but im sticking to my guns and not changing my ways because most femalea dont know what they really want in a male and lack maturity. i probably wont see myself getting in a relationship when im into my 30′s, when females grow up and pass that bad boy phase. most males act the way they do because of females, just my 2 cents.
I recently had a discussion regarding chivalry with my male friends and it seems to me that the issue of chivalry is a matter of semantics. Chivalry by definition may actually be dead, but the kindness and courtesy you seek is not. The real issue at hand is reciprocity. My male friends seemed aggravated that so many women had EXPECTATIONS of what these men should do, however they offered nothing in return. If men are to continue to abide by an antiquated code for women, shouldn’t women abide by the same antiquated codes?
As a woman, I am over chivalry because I will not take the passive or submissive person that the chivalrous code was designed for. The does not mean that I lack of manners and respect and that I don’t expect the same for men. A gentleman would have offered his seat, not because he HAD to but because it was the kind thing to do. But I do believe that women should put forth an equal effort to be kind and courteous to men. Rude is rude on either side of the gender line. Men and women both would do well to treat each other better these days.
P.S. I am new to your blog but love what I’ve read so far. Interesting and well written. I wish you much success and please keep writing!
Yeah, I’m new here too and I love your stuff. Keep up the good work, and I’ll be here all the time.
My view on the situation is well covered. Some men act like chivalry is dead because of the attitudes of some women. If we as men stop “expecting” things (whether a thank you or a phone number) and just continue to be nice because that’s what people should do, then the world should revolve more smoothly. I had a situation that totally turned me off from holding door for the ladies, but I’ve since changed my mind.
http://www.insaneasylumblog.com/2010/12/from-now-on-hold-your-own-door_10.html#axzz1JbEqgpdn
Ain’t this somethin’? LOL Strawwwwwng independent women demanding that men get literally medieval on their ass… Now who said irony was dead?