Castrated by LOVE
Recently a good friend and I were having a discussion about his relationship and I realized that he was GROWING UP and really in love with his lady. I immediately asked him to write a blog about the transformation that I’ve noticed he has made. Here are his thoughts….
As I work to maintain my monogamous relationship, I realize that it is a bit like being castrated, by choice of course. I say that because there is this underlying feeling that ones manhood (in terms of being single) is no longer defined by the number of chicks he can brag about banging, or how the “hit and quit it” mentality is no longer something to boast about. Rather the focus shifts to keeping the castrator happy (aka the girlfriend). As any man that’s in a relationship has learned by now, if your woman isn’t happy, neither are you!
During our first disagreement is when I first felt this nutty feeling. Even though she was undoubtedly wrong, as I stood fast to my position, I started to feel bad that her feelings were hurt. This has NEVER happened to me before, me feel bad, even if I’m right…imagine that! However, in that moment is when I first realized, oh sh*t, I think I’m in love!
You see, it is often during a disagreement that it becomes abundantly clear just how much you love your woman. If you’re mad as all get out, but your mind cannot help but think about how she may be feeling, it just may be love, OUCH! I often find myself forgiving more easily and wanting to soothe, rather than be right. This was the first sign that I was growing, not only as a man, but a man who wants to be faithful *BLANK STARE*. As the relationship continues I realize that being castrated (in love), is definitely a choice. You choose to put up with things you would never have thought you would.
For example, I am one of those guys who believes that it’s mainly a woman’s job to keep house, however my castrator believes the polar opposite. If I wanted something cleaned in my apartment, the single me would have waited for the chic who doesn’t want to do it to leave, and simply called the one with the challenged self esteem right after. I would give a compliment or some _____, and then asked my favor, “Beautiful, would you mind hookin’ up those dishes so I can make you something to eat?” Once the dishes were done, I would have swiftly motioned for us to go past McDonald’s on the way to drop the esteem challenged chicken off at her place.
Now with my castrator, not so much! If I ask her to do the dishes there is a long discussion about what is wrong with my hands, and how she works just as I do, how this is not the 50′s and blah blah blah. So with that conversation ensuing I get upset, but then she smiles, and all of sudden…*BAM* I’m standing there doing the damn dishes!
I will close with this, to love is a choice. It is a challenging choice with unquestionable rewards. Fella’s if you choose to love, do just that, LOVE. Because what you get in return, at first may feel like a slicing off of your manhood, but really it’s the opportunity to be fulfilled and happy and just maybe you will come home to your woman doing the dishes!
- A Reformed Womanizer
I completely agree. To love is a CHOICE. And for men, loving is an organic thing that just happens when you meet the right chick at the right time.
This “castration” by love is a weird concept. I’ve never thought about it like that. I have been in a couple situations where I had to let go of my “manly” thoughts, and compromise or let her win.
Preach. Good Luck to your relationship!
–Dwayne
Another Male Buppie
Very well written. Its good to hear a man’s POV on the love thing. I wish the two of you all the best
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