White May be Right?
I accidentally posted this a few weeks ago. DAMN you wordpress !! Buttons too close. So some of you all read this before it was ready. I apologize.
I am sure my buppie sistas have seen that special “42% of professional black women are single”. You know that joint with STEVE HARVEY . He is called in for his PROFESSIONAL OPINION.
o_O
Moving on. So the facts or ehm better yet what has been presented in popular media is that there are less professional black men out there blah blah blah, they are in prison. blah blah… expectations of black women are crazy blah blah.
All shyt we heard before. Let’s not belabor the point.
So the question is
WHY NOT GO WHITE?! ….OR OTHER?
I am not dedicated to dating any type of man but the man that makes me happy.
I ventured to see what is really good with white men. I have been holding out on writing this blog for years telling you all the juicy details. Well, I am spilling the BEANS!
I, DCBuppie have dated a WHITE man. WHITE. Blonde to Almost RED hair. Blue/Green eyes. WHITE. Caucasian. Anglo Saxon. WHITE!
It was interesting how we met. I was playing wingwoman to my homegirl. We were out in DC and I was being my flirtatious self that evening. I really wasn’t trying to bag him, just wanted to start a friendly conversation as our friends went in for the kill. His homeboy was black. I started the conversation. He was so sweet. But what stood out to me more, is that as we were talking he looked so deeply into my eyes. We chatted about the usual and then exchanged info. We exchanged a few texts.
We hooked up for a coffee I think first, to just talk. He continued to woo me. He was so culturally aware. He was well traveled. He spoke different languages. Lover of all types of different music. He was unique.
Our first date is really where he wrapped me up. We did something I always wanted to do! We checked out an art exhibit. We spent 12 hours together, hopping all over DC checking out different events. The conversation was awesome. We clicked.
We continued dating. He became an awesome friend. Eventually he moved, but when I say he was one of the best guys I have ever date, HE is on that list.
That was all good, but here is the kicker that is not the best reflection of me.
How can I say this…
If he was black, I do not think I would have given him a chance.
DAAAAAAAYUMN. Can’t believe I just said that. Wait wait hear me out.
You see :
- He was living on a student budget.
- He was about to move to a completely new city in 2 months.
- He did not have a car. He was WMATA all day!
- He had a totally different religious belief than I.
So what does this mean? Perhaps Steve Harvey and his crew are right. My expectations were unfair. I was blatantly guilty of discrimination. I can not seem to figure out why I had different standards
In the long run, this is something that proved that sometimes people’s standards are bull shyt. Preferences are cool, but to dismiss someone because of some surface differences is to REALLY miss out on the possibility of something great.
This is why my stance is to be open to all types of men. Look at this situation. I learned I was blocking all types of goodies!
What do you all think about this? I am going to let you all tear me up in the comments section on this one.
*CRINGE*
Well, this should probably change your mind of any other race that you date. Sadly you have an ignorance that many of my friends had when I was in a relationship with a white man for 3 years. However, just because he’s white and sort of forbidden territory for you doesn’t mean he was better. You should open your mind about black men that might be similar to him. There are great black men as there are great white men, horrible black men as there are horrible white men… it’s not a race thing. Think of people as people. Also, I know many black men who would go to an art exhibit
. Ms Buppie, you’re just in the wrong circle if you aren’t meeting those.
At this point I’m not even considering dating a White man, but when I was open to it I definitely held them to a much higher standard. Everything – looks, height, grooming, manners, career etc. had to be on point for me to give a White man a second glance, meanwhile any raggedy Black guy with good shoes could at least get a glance.
Maybe it’s backwards, but I looked at it like dating a White guy is compromising my principles and if I was gonna do it it would have to be because it was an offer I couldn’t refuse. Now I just skip it altogether, it doesn’t matter how dope the guy is.
Thanks for your honesty.
I don’t think your standards are set too high, and honestly I don’t think that you discriminated. You said from the jump that you weren’t trying to bag dude. Maybe it wasn’t so much the fact that he was white that let you be open to his shortcomings, maybe just that he was different, uncharted territory. I think you’re moving in the right direction though, I’d just be careful not to beat yourself up too much & end up in a situation that isn’t ideal because you wanted to ensure you weren’t “discriminating”