Posts Tagged ‘book’
This Tuesday evening, I was exceptionally exhausted.
5:45 pm..
I needed to get the eff out of this place. I am at the client site today, and they have worked my nerves. My thoughts zoom to cooking a good meal and vegging out in front of the TV catching up on Entourage.
I walked hastily to the metro. Yes!! Train arrives just as I hit the platform. I cop a seat, Four square check in, and release a deep breath. Just as I close my eyes to reach the pinnacle of my calm work day release, my blackberry vibrates. Clearly a BBM PING.
I look down at my phone and the person disrupting my afterwork rituals is no other than… Dr. J.
What the fuck does this N!gga want?!
Dr. J and I have a very eh… Love hate relationship. Who knows if he is going to cuss me out, or send me a bbm Love Struck face. BTW, he only employs kindness when he is going to ask me, or better yet TELL me what I am going to do.
ME: wassup
Dr. J: Hey, I am not going to make this event, the book signing, can you go?
Me: BBM ? face, what are you talking about?
Dr. J: You know, the Helena Andrews book signing?
Me: Whaaat? I have no idea who you are talking about.
Dr. J: The woman who wrote “Bitch is the New black” I need you to cover this.
Bitch is the New Black??
Why is Dr.J sending me on Anti Black Women missions? I have no interest! I don’t want to go! I had my fill of black women hate, and black relationships fail because of black women BS. Black women have attitudes. ANYTHING related to this was working my mothereffin nerve. It is all fucking propaganda, and I wanted no parts in this.
Me: uh, I never heard of this. What you want notes? When is this?
Dr. J: uh duh yea! I think you should blog this! It starts 6:30 Barnes Nobles Downtown..
Wow. In 10 minutes it would be 6:30 and in 5 minutes, I would be at the very train stop to make the event.
Me: Argh ok. (I guess today I decided to not be a BITCH.)
Then, I tweeted : Dr.J sent me on a dummie mission.
I get off the train and walk the one block to Barnes and Nobles. I walk upstairs and see chairs set up and book display on a small table. A black and red book.
Immediately, I see a swarm of black women waiting patiently. I am just on time at 6:30pm. All the women are coupled up, and I am flying solo. I asked a woman who was in the midst of reading the book if I could sit. She said yes. I sat, and worried if people here thought I was some typical black woman who spent 90%of her time thinking about why I was single, manless, etc. I clearly, couldn’t give two shyts about it.
I wanted to project an aura of non desperateness, but looked around the room and noted something quite different.
The crowd consisted of about 50 seats. About 3 males, and sprinkles of white folk. One significant trend stood out to me. As I pulled strands of my 18 inch $300 + weave, I could not help to notice that all these women were rocking naturals, locks, twists, curly fros. These women look much more liberated, and maybe a few lesbians noted by the rainbow accessories they rocked. What the fuck is this book about?
6:43 pm
The author walks out. Helena Andrews walks directly in front of the carefully layered book display. Someone does a shot in the dark intro about her.
Immediately, I am struck by Helena’s beauty. #NOHOMO, but this bitch is bad. Tall medium brown milky tone, slim frame, creamy crack tresses in a short bob, and deep rooted dimples that rested on her face even when she would get tight.
She opens up setting the agenda for tonight. She plans to share a few excerpts and go into Q and A. She recognizes the audience, who she admits consists of mostly her friends.
Helena shares a bit of her background. She started off as a political journalist and this book “Bitch is the New Black” acts as her memoirs.
Helena continues talking. I can’t help but notice how causal she is being. She is uber relaxed. Uses slang phrases, rolls her eyes. Dismisses people. She was pretty much speaking like she was one of your girlfriends telling you about her day.
Anyway, she continues to tell us how the book was originally suppose to be called “Dirty Astronaut Diapers”. An ode to Lisa Nowak. I did not get it. Well I did, but wasn’t all that funny. *kanye shrug*
Anyway, she reveals more about her memoir’s and she touches on her lesbian mom, and dating life in the District.
Her first excerpt…something about CBC in Sept 2008
She reads …well she reads and its almost like a forced dry soap opera. Very ..Cursory. Nonetheless, she shares a story about her and her homegirl on the hunt for men at CBC. “Political Husband, Professional Wife, Perfect Children.”
The story is VERY familiar. Most urban women have all done this. Helena shares how she and her friend get stunna stunna to attend these CBC social events, hoping to get “chose”. The hunt fails them. Her and homegirl resolve to looking around the club, marking men gay with their words.
WOW, geeez that is kind of depressing. Is dating really this bad?
Next excerpt..something about her Mom getting her hair undid
It is clear Helena and her mom are ace boon koons. This excerpt shares a funny story of her Lesbian Mom in a Pic with Treach from Naughty By Nature at his Porn Release party.
It was cute. 
Next excerpt something about Walk Like a Woman
Andrews to my chagrin, lives or lived few blocks from me. She shares how she does not know how drive and walked everywhere in DC. One day, she overheated in a pizza shop and faints.
WTF face.
That was the end of the event. There was some Q/A to learn more about the people in her life reactions. Helena admits to the use of Gtalk conversations to drive some of the essays and how this book has exploded into a movie deal!
But.. then there was a critical moment: The book signing.
The entire room shifts but me.
I hesitated : To buy the book and get it signed OR not??
NOT!!
Sure it was witty. Sure she had some unique life experiences. Sure sure sure. But the excerpts and her story just didn’t peak my interest. Yet another *kanye shrug*
I went home.
Aside For some reason, I must have been the only chick in DC not aware of this book or Helena Andrews. It seemed like all my local friends, male and female, knew about “Bitch is the New Black” . I am saying this to say, that I came in there with a blank slate.
What is accurate is that I totally prejudged the book. The title got me. “Aww this going to be some black bitch lonely type shyt.” Quite the contrary. I was super pleased to find out it was the opposite of all that.
Helena book is filled with personal essays about her life growing into woman. Part of that is family, love, dating, career and a movement toward what she has deemed “Modern Feminism”. I am sincerely proud of Helena and what she has accomplished to date. Clearly buppie certified!
Although, I wasn’t thrilled enough to purchase the book, I find that the title may pigeonhole some folks to think it is about one thing. When in fact, Helena aims to share her life story.
Raise your hand if you are looking for a new career? A new job? Higher pay? A Better Network?
Personally, I have been at a career crossroad for the last two years. While, I continue to get PAID, I take little pleasure in my actual position. In fact, 9/10 you will hear me popping off at some random call of duty. I lack really room for growth and I am not in a position to own the job, like I know I can. (Typical Control Freak)
You guys should know, that I have recently completed my first year of grad school. It was incredibly insightful! So now I am proud to say that I have become unstuck and I am ONTOTHENEXTONE! The next career goal…
How many of us genuinely feel stuck? I did. It is like, if you find what you love to do you can’t get you paid for it OR you are getting paid for some shyt you truly dislike.
As I am realizing what I want to do next, I had no idea how to truly get there.
At the recommendation of my Mentor/Coach, I was pointed to this book.
I hence forth put the Buppie seal of Approval on it!
Look folks even if you are perfectly happy where you are at, this book still provides relevant valuable information! It discusses how to REALLY prepare for an interview, how to FIND a job beyond monster! The book gets updated yearly, but what I enjoy most is that the book points to tons of online sites and tools for our use. Like resume updates, feedback tools, templates, etc.
Buy a copy and keep it on the self. It is truly timeless for anyone in any point of his or her life. I think you will find it worth while.
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