So a few weeks back my Significant Other (S.O.) and I were having a conversation. Here it is:

S.O. : You think you’re slick?

Me: What?

S.O. : You left your toothbrush and loofah here.

Me: Yeah I know! I realized that when I got home. I didn’t mean to leave either one. Actually I am a little salty I left my travel toothbrush there.

S.O. : Whatever! You think you’re slick tryin to mark your territory!

Me: Ummmm NO. I left both items completely by accident.

S.O. : *laughing* It’s okay babe your stuff will be right where you left it.

After this conversation I spoke with my brother about the matter. He quickly responded yall girls kill me with that sh*t! He said his girlfriend does it all the time and joked about how he thinks she actually strategically places her stuff around his room and house. I responded, well she is there a lot. Perhaps she just feels the need to have stuff there for her convenience. He retorted, “What difference does it make? It is MY HOUSE and I don’t just want her stuff everywhere.” So you know this started one of my infamous surveys to all of my male friends. I asked them 3 simple questions:

1. Does your significant other leave stuff at your house?

2. Do you mind that she does it?

3. Have you ever said something about it to her?

The answers were pretty consistent. Most men do not like it. And I asked a wide variety of guys the player types, the guys who have wifeys that they are serious about, middle aged men……They aint feelin it! One of my friends expressed a bit of bitterness saying that more and more of his girlfriend’s stuff ended up in his apartment which ultimately led up to them living together. He says he loves her but he wishes it was planned and not as forced. Many men believe women do this to “mark their territory”. Therefore if any other woman comes there she will see the belongings of another woman and think twice about what she is doing there.

One gentleman exclaimed, “A women I have been seeing for two years does that. She makes a point to leave her curling iron in a visible place in my bathroom. When she comes back and sees that I put it out of sight she gets all defensive and asks why I moved it. I tell her because I aint wanna look at it! And she says you mean that you aint want someone else to see it??? I just look at her like she is nuts!”

Contrary to what my man believes I didn’t intentionally leave my two items but his response did make me think? I trust him so I am not worried about other women being there. However, IF that wasn’t the case I am not about to leave stuff around to deter the next chick. If she’s in the crib my relationship is already f*cked and no amount of stuff I leave around is going to keep him from doing dirt.

My initial thought was why can’t I leave stuff at his place? Is it that serious? But then I played devil’s advocate and thought about it a bit more. I want him to know I respect his space and am not trying to monopolize it. Therefore I can understand why men may feel annoyed or leary when a woman leaves TOO much stuff at their house.

I know one thing….. when I cook and leave leftovers he sure as hell doesn’t mind THAT. Oh and the S.O. just called. He told me I left my fingernail polish remover too. Ohhh yeah…..that wasn’t an accident. I didn’t leave it in plain site though! It is in his bathroom closet. I told him I may need that the next time I am there. He just laughed and said his usual, “Babe it will be right where you left it when you come back.”