Posts Tagged ‘priorities’
Forward Progress Bups! 2011 is here! WOOHOO! I don’t think I am making any resolutions. I always have goals. I am a GOAL DIGGER, you heard? (a friend put me on to that, it’s hot aint it? 
) Besides that, 2011 is one of those “in-between” years. Meaning, nothing big planned, but I just need to get through better positioned for 2012, where I hope to be on my way to closing on many goals!
This New Year, 2011, I would like to focus on the past. Apply the concept of Sankofa to move forward with some things from the past.
Over this past year, I have concentrated on being who I say I am. Being in integrity with myself. Defining my womanhood and making deliberate efforts to stretch myself to new frontiers. Through this I find that I am more intune with me. I am happier and more open to things. Yet, I am still cautious but not paranoid because now I understand what is good and what is bad for me. Sometimes, we need to take ownership for our tendencies, and our parts when things don’t go as planned.
Bups, ask yourself this question, Who are you? Are you being honest with yourself? Are you owning your mistakes? Are you owning your successes? Check yourself. Are you becoming who you say you are? OR spiraling out of control?
I find that sometimes we are so shocked about how we are percieved. We get upset, we allocate time to it, burn cycles on perceptions. I think this reaction is because you may not know who you are. It is my belief, that we should not internalize (OR give a FCUK) what others think of you. All people judge, all people have bias. BUT I want to be myself, so if you are going to judge me, I want your perception at least be accurate. What you do with it after, I do not care.
Food for thought: This year if your going to make a resolution, be a smidgen selfish. Make one that is aimed at building your integrity with yourself. You owe yourself that much.
Upwardly Mobile, means that we have transcended into a different (elevated) socioeconomic class. Whereas, one parents may have been lower middles, you (the apple of your parents eye) are now upper middle class.
I embrace this “new money” outlook and some “new money” tendencies . Some may class these new habits of life, as Blowing Money Fast (B.M.F). While I just think it makes sense to pay for certain life enhancements. Why stress yourself when you have the money to de-stress? Why are you working so hard, if you cannot enjoy the finer things? That’s like when you go to Disney World. You could wait in line for hours. SWEAT. FEET HURT. BORED.
OR you could just pay the extra $75 dollars to get the “Skip the Line” Pass.
One seems so much more convenient.
Now, time savings is huge. I have a buppie friend who is busy, and honestly is a self admitted procrastinater. She outsources her personal assistant needs to India. Meaning she has an”Indian PA” who sits in a call center, and answers her beck and calls everyday. She uses them for everything, from “scheduling her car detail, to booking flights, to paying her bills.” To her credit, it’s pretty cost effective to do this.
The next evolution in B.M.F is a bup who suddenly became very stylish. Come to find out homegirl has a personal shopper and stylist. She pulls a real housewives moment, and has them bring her 3 outfits a month. Wow! I think that is my next move.
Your turn, what do you “B.M.F” on?
We have all been there. Drinking, having a good time, laughing, cuffing, and THEN this happens:
Someone comes pushes you too F&@!KING hard. Someone steps on your FooeyBoutins.OH HAYLE NAW! We got a problem!
I will be the first to admit. I got anger management issues. I pop off. What I am becoming more aware of, is although I may be the same size as Manny Pacquiao, I AINT.
I admit to having my own buppie don’t moments. About two weeks ago, I almost got my ass beat. I was tipsy, and I told a group of AMAZON bitches to move, so I could get to the bar. Them 3 bitches looked like they were going to strait jump me, school bus style. I got my drink and I speed walked my black ass back to my girls. Shooot! Men lie, women lie, numbers don’t. 3 against 1? I ain’t dumb.
Now, back in my younger days I would have elbowed a BITCH too close, swung my weave in your face, or STOMPED the shyt out of your hard bottoms. That was then, and this is now. Truly, there does come a point where we should WALK AWAY. All we going to do is LOSE.
HERE are a few reasons why you should avoid fighting in the club.
1 Well Obviously, you can lose it all. Yep! You are going to catch a case. You are going to go to jail! How are you going to explain to your boss, your momma, that you are in jail because someone stepped on your Via Spiga’s??! POOF! There goes your job! Your car, your apartment..shyt your entire life.
2 People out here are crazy including Buppies. Yes! You besta believe if I am swinging on your ass, risking my quality of life, I’m going to box the shyt out your ass. If it has gotten to this point, you should be scared.
3 People don’t forget shyt, even if you win. Picture this: It’s me and my homies chillen at a local bar joint. Getting it in on the behalf of my folks birthday. The spot uses this industrial grade fan, which was seriously messing up our hair. Here comes a group of drunk chicks by us, who move the fan BACK towards us, and dance with the fan. My Homegirl says, “Hey ladies, can you move the fan off us?” Drunk chicks roll their eyes. Ignores Homegirl. Homegirl gets up, walks over and says “Excuse me, we moved the fan earlier to get it off of us, Would you mind moving the fan?” Yea, Homegirl said it with a attitude, some words exchanged. Drunk Bitch, slaps the shyt out of her. Just like THIS Homegirl is stunned. My JAW is on the floor! In fact, it is like the entire room just stops. Homegirl throws drink at drunk girl and commences to WHIP HER ASS. I MEAN she went IN!
But even though Homegirl whipped her ass, ALL we can ever remember is that she got the shyt slapped out of her. Was it worth it?
See, even if you win, you still lose. Don’t fight in the club.
How many times has this happened to you?
Racial Stereotyping in the Office
By: PATRICIA HAYLING PRICE & ORLANDO ASHFORD
Kim is a promising young African-American executive ascending the ranks at a Fortune 500 company. Despite her success she regularly encounters situations where colleagues or clients assume she is a junior-level employee. They often express visible surprise upon meeting Kim for the first time. Kim is sure the reaction is because she is African-American.“The situation is always awkward and embarrassing for both parties,” says Kim. “I can’t help feeling angry and disappointed to be on the receiving end of obvious racial stereotyping by otherwise intelligent and worldly people. I am tired of feeling like I have to justify my presence in the room every time I meet somebody in the course of doing business.”
Kim asks:
• What can I do at the outset to preclude these judgments?
• Do I have a responsibility to address these reactions? How can I do so without appearing “reactive”?
• How can I recover my equilibrium and steer the relationship in the right direction?
Patricia Hayling Price: Kim, you’re not alone. Among African-American women surveyed in 2004 by Catalyst – a non-profit research and advisory firm that works to advance women in business – 56% reported encountered persistent, “race-based” stereotyping and a third felt that their authority and credibility had been called into question.
On your way up, managing preconceptions of you as an African-American woman can be critical to your success but, as you acknowledge, the way you manage them is just as critical, both to your career and your personal well-being. You can make the situation worse by reacting in an angry manner, or you can use your knowledge and gifts to put it to rest in an elegant way.
Orlando Ashford: It really comes down to one question: “Does this person have any influence over my ability to achieve my goals?” My dad gave me some very good advice when I was in college: If the person who has misjudged you or questioned your worth is someone who can significantly influence your life – a professor who is going to give you a grade, a boss who is going to evaluate your performance and determine your compensation– then you need to figure out how to correct them, in the smartest way possible. I find that you usually have three choices: Ignore it, laugh at it, or make it a “teachable moment”.
On the other hand, if the person who misjudged you doesn’t have influence in your life—and most people don’t have any influence, unless you give them that influence—then you need to figure out how to let it go. Otherwise, it will chip away at you.
Patricia: Think about someone like President Obama. Think of how many times in his life he probably found himself in situations similar to yours. Obviously, he didn’t let the preconceptions of others keep him from achieving his goals. You are in good company. Relate your experience to something positive. Otherwise your frustrations may mount and blow up on you one day.
Orlando: So what kind of practical advice can we give Kim?
Patricia: A simple and practical way to avoid awkwardness is to immediately introduce yourself so there is no mistaking your position at the firm. Also, humor may be hard to muster but it can often serve a dual purpose: diffusing the situation and providing a subtle nudge.
Orlando: I agree. As you move up in your career, positively positioning yourself and building good relationships is key; it’s important to categorize these experiences and select the appropriate response. And it’s really important to gauge intent. For example, a brief look of surprise is much different than, say, a person being dismissive or condescending.
Patricia: Always be prepared, elegantly confident and so not bothered by their reactions that any awkwardness becomes their issue. When you develop that state of mind, the situation becomes amusing and highly manageable as opposed to corrosive.
Today’s Buppie Fridaze is a share presented by another blogger female buppie. I was going to blog about this, but I read this a few months ago, and her POV and her experience were much more fruitful. BTW..Aren’t we glad we made it another week??!! Enjoy!
The Glass Ceiling. Reality or Fiction?
Via KasondraL.Blogspot.com
At 21, sitting in the stands listening to the Virginia Governor speak at my 1998 Undergraduate College Graduation, I just knew
that the sky was the limit for my new career! I’ve always been a pretty ambitious young lady so I figured it would be no sweat. Now as I sit here, 11 years later, I wonder just how much the “glass ceiling” has influenced the advancement of my career. Is this truly the reality of us lucky folks that fall in any “protected class category? For those that aren’t familiar, a protected class simply describes groups of people who are “protected” from discrimination and harassment by law. People are put in these classes based on things like race, ethnicity, religion, sex, age, disability, sexual orientation etc. etc.
So, a fellow Computer Science friend of mine works for a large well known company. Her organization has about 400 people. There are probably 75 manager level employees, including my friend. My friend is one of four black managers out of 50. The four black managers are ALL first level managers. Middle and Upper Management has 0% black/Latina, 3 Asian Managers, all the other middle/upper managers are Caucasian all the way up to the CEO.
Of those 325 non-management employees, about 90% are Asian (Mainly from India).The other 10% – about 10-15 Caucasian and there are 6 people of color (5 Black, 1 Latina)-again, this doesn’t include the 4 black managers. So, am I the only one that sees something funny with this picture? Number 1, if 90% of your non-management employees are from East India, why are there only 2 Indians represented in upper/middle management? Also, I mean really, are the 4 black managers just incompetent or are they not allowed to go beyond a certain point? Lastly, isn’t it strange that there are 10-15 Caucasian non-management employees and the rest of the Caucasians (65+) in the organization are ALL in upper/middle management? She complains that she has to be one of the “good old boys” to really make a move beyond where she is so far. Especially since 2 of the 4 black managers have 15+ years in the company. She’s actually quite “accomplished” in that organization to have made it to first level management at such a young age.
So, after evaluating her situation and many of my own in my 11 years of working I MUST ask my readers if the Glass Ceiling is reality or fiction? Have you encountered the glass ceiling in your career? If you have, what methods have you used to help shatter it or at least crack it a bit? Any interesting stories to tell on work situations that made you scratch like you need head & shoulders similar to the scenario that I described above? Ever felt like you were put in a “box” although you had the credentials and smarts to do much more? Is this notion of a glass ceiling all in our minds and just a product of our predisposed ideals due to being a minority in America?
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