Posts Tagged ‘sex’
How low will you go? Wait, it's not just about us this time!!!
There’s more than one way to skin a cat, and I can already think of about 7 for this one.
Recently, Slate.com ran an article “Sex is Cheap: Why Young Men Have the Upper Hand in Bed Even When They’re Failing in Life” (Regnerus, 2011: http://www.slate.com/id/2286240). I have to give the writer credit. At least it’s not another rendition of all the black women in the country singing the theme song to “Living Single” (nothing against, Living Single, just sayin’) followed by Bey’s “Single Ladies.” Finally this isn’t an isolated black woman’s issue.
The article mentions an experimental study on FSU’s campus. Men and women were both propositioned by investigators on the spot and at random. No women took the propositioner up on the offer, but 75% of the men did. This outcome is supposed to indicate women decide when consensual sex happens, and men want sex more than women point blank period. Let’s not get bogged down on unimportant matters like sample size and methodology, though; we forge on.
Porn, oral contraception, sheer numbers (of successful women compared to successful men), and lowered social attitudes toward sex and the increased autonomy of women are blamed for the cost of sex these days. The article goes on to say that women are becoming better and better (i.e., getting educated, making money). Meanwhile, many less successful men, seeing that successful and attractive women are still willing to bonk them, have little to no motivation to improve themselves. Consequently, women (in a quest for something the article does not fully address) give it up and put up with Junior’s crap. In fact, a photo of a young woman with an attache case in hand sitting in the lap of and looking into the eyes of a young man who is ignoring her while he plays a video game is one of the first things you see when you read this article.
Articles like this are trainwrecks: you just can’t look away, no matter how horrible it is. Something in your brain wants you to sear the moment into your memory and pick it apart so you can avoid a similar fate in the future. As you rubberneck to see what exactly happened, you see a few kernels of yourself in the accident. Maybe your tendency to try to beat the train, ignoring all the flashing lights, bells, and whistles signalling “WARNING! WARNING!! TRAIN IS COMING!! PUT ON THE BRAKES, DUMMY!!!”
What do you think? Is this article correct? Are successful women putting up with anything just to have someone keep them warm at night, eat their food, and make trips to GameStop with their joint credit cards? Do men just need to get out of extended adolescents faster and man up more? To quote “The 40-Year-Old Virgin,” are we putting ussy-pay on a pedestal, and it’s just not that serious? How important is it to copulate with someone who is just as successful as you? Why are we not concerned for the Target and Wal-Mart women out there; are they giving it away in the free section of Craigslist? Is Steve Harvey right? Why did Overton have to act so dumb and bumpkin with flashes of clarity here and there? Why are we even discussing sex like it’s a commodity to be bought and sold? Price of crude is about 100 bucks a barrel, should we use this as an indicator to raise our prices?
This and more….as the world turns.
Valentine’s Day is over tommorrow. You are either disappointed or on Cloud 9 or Broke.
So …why not go to an buppie approved Happy Hour. + The hostess is Gorgeous!
AfterGlow @ Funxion (1309 F Street, NW)
Tuesday, Feb 15, 2011
6PM to 9PM
No Cover
Bring a lover…Bring a friend…Or come stag…
I still don’t know how I came across this…
Yes I owe you 4 minutes of your life back.
I have reached my limit. The other day an UGLY ASHY NEGRO acted like I should kiss his butt, as he tried to talk to me. I stood there entertaining his conversation, in 4 inch heels while he sat all cozy at the bar. He was nestled in and clearly had no intention of moving. After 10 minutes and a drink offer, this was a blatant sign of disrespect. I kept it funky and asked why he didn’t give up his seat and he says “Chivalry is DEAD.”
WHAT!!
I was Appalled!
I am open to all opinions, but embracing “Chivalry is DEAD” ???? NOPE! I CAN’T DO IT.
Yes, gender lines have blurred. Women now have the opportunity to embrace things usually attributed to males, and males are embracing things usually attributed to women. We are now way beyond becoming “equals”, we are now moving towards being the “same”.
Nonetheless, this Chivalry is DEAD movement needs to stop. PERIOD. Integrity, respect for women, protection, loyalty, and manners are all things Mandatory in Manhood. Taking this stance behind Chivalry is DEAD is forgetting all about what value a man possesses. Men, have you all forgotten the power of your SEX? (SEX as in gender, not pipe. Some of yall deserve malpractice suits.) Men are suppose to be head of households, guiders, protectors. It can’t work if we both doing the same shyt.
Men are built totally different than women for a reason. Men are made to be stronger. Don’t yall think it is amazing how I can OUT weigh a MAN by 20-30 lbs, be a few inches taller; YET with one hand, a MAN can grab me and exert enough pressure to defeat me!
Men, if you won’t perform basic chilvarlous acts, how can any woman trust you to lead? This is why so many women are controlling. Some MEN are failing at basic MEN things. The more you remain chivalrous, the more you will be viewed and respected as a MAN and you will attract a WOMAN who understands PARTNERSHIP.
So you MEN, think nice and hard about the next time you see a woman struggle with her grocery’s OR not get up and offer her your seat OR not open the door. If Chivalry is DEAD, you are saying “Hey Women, I can do absolutely NOTHING for you.” You are defeating your own purpose. You are signaling it is OK to be on our level. And if you dont believe in reviving Chivarly, well guess what?? Welcome to my world, cus you are a BITCH just like me.
Adventures from the Bedrooms of African Women is one of my fav blogs. I read this blog, and while the originations are from the POV of an African woman, (I am African by the way, keep the booty scratcher comments to a minimum please), I feel it is very relevant to buppie women. Would you date below your class?
Dating Below Your Class
My new favourite blog is ‘Mind of Malaka’ and its not because its written by my BFFFL (Best Friend for Freakin Life) and co-blogger for Adventures. Mind of Malaka is my new fav blog because the writing is excellent, the author’s frankness/humour shines through and the issues she chooses to deal with are the realities she encounters.
Her latest post dealt with an issue that comes up from time to time where women and relationships are concerned – ‘dating below your class’. Now what does that mean? Dating below your class simply means dating a man who is not your equal – not your equal in terms of social status, not your equal in terms of educational/work achievements, not your equal in regards to anything…I always felt that it was only Ghanaian women (does this apply to women from other African countries?) living abroad who ended up dating below their class. Why? For the same tired old reasons – the black men abroad choose to date white women, mixed race women and any other woman rather than the women who originate from their own countries. In a way I don’t blame the men – suddenly the average African man travels to the west (when I say abroad I tend to mean the west) and he’s exoticised/eroticised as a handsome black hunk with above average sized male appendages…
Now let me not loose my train of thought. What is the issue with dating below your class? This issue came up time and time again on Home Affairs, Joy 99.7 (a Ghanaian radio show/station) that the author Boakyewaa Glover and I were recently invited on to share our perspectives on why so many accomplished women are single – I guess we were both the poster ‘women’ for single accomplished women.
Now I wish I could put my hand on my heart and say class doesn’t matter. I wish I could put my hand on my heart and say I could meet a guy from Bukom tomorrow who is a carpenter with no education past JSS and as long as I loved him nothing anyone says matters. My truth though is that is does matter. It does matter whether the man I’m attracted to is capable of eating in a restaurant without embarrassing me (note: he does not need to know how to use all the umpteen cutlery but he does need to know that the warmed towel brought round is not to wipe your face). I don’t mind dating people who are purposely counter-cultural, in fact I am usually attracted to men who choose to shun conventions, who choose to pursue their passions, who choose to grow their hair long but in my local context (Ghana) I find that those with the freedom to make those choices are still from ‘my social class’. We went to the same kind of schools; we have the same sort of friends…some people just choose to break the rules.
One of my biggest concerns with dating outside your class is that it only adds to the issues that men have. Most men have been socialized to have an expectation of superiority to the women they date. In my experience when men date above their social class (in this instance social class also means a woman who earns more/is better educated/has greater social mobility for e.g.) his insecurities are magnified and nothing you the woman does is going to make him feel better. In the long run his insecurities drive you away or he leaves you for a woman who makes him feel secure (one who is in his social class or even below his social class). I feel that for a man dating below your social class is not as big a deal as it is for women. Am I wrong?
What are your general thoughts on social class and dating?
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